As people living in Canada, it’s commonplace to talk about the weather. “It’s a cold one out there, eh,” “This weather really gets into your bones,” and “It’s so hot you can fry an egg out there” are to be expected when riding on an elevator or making chit chat while standing in line as you wait to order a coffee. Approaching this winter season, I hear similar comments. What’s different though, is an accompanying sense of dread linked to the restrictions put in place to help slow the spread of COVID-19. Understandably. Here are a few suggestions that might help navigate the next few months.
Give Yourself Some Compassion. Give yourself permission to grieve. In many ways, we have been doing that for the better part of 2020. It has been tough. There is no denying that. It’s okay to be sad and angry. Acknowledge and validate these feelings. Breathe in the pain of this past year and then breathe out loving kindness to those around you.
Expect Things to Be Different This Year. Go into this season knowing it is unlike any other. Try to let go of the expectation that the holidays* and winter months need to look how they’ve always looked. Some experiences will run their normal course and some will not. Be open to new things and don’t worry about it needing to be a complete success.
Practice Hygge. I have a co-worker that is all about Hygge. Come winter, she embraces the Danish lifestyle of coziness and contentment. Think of thick faux-fur lined knee high slipper socks, hot chocolate in a ceramic mug with marshmallows, the crackling of wood burning in a fireplace, a beige knitted blanket, snow landing on the outside window sill, a spiced candle flickering in its holder on the side table next to a favourite book. Perhaps, I just described your nightmare. It’s different for everyone and that is completely okay. Make that bowl of popcorn. Turn off the lights and watch that favourite movie. Bake cookies, bread or cook that nostalgic stew your gramma would make when you were a child. Spend some time in your workshop surrounded by the scent of lumber. Play board games within your household or D&D online with friends. Puzzle while listening to an audiobook. Draw or colour. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to enjoy the simple things in life.
Buy Snowpants. There’s a Scandinavian philosophy that says, “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes.” From what we know in terms of safe socializing, being outside in small numbers is recommended. Put on that toque, buy snow pants, pull on warm winter boots, go to a second hand store to buy a winter jacket, put on layers. We know it’s going to be cold. Snow is expected. Being dressed for the weather will help you be able to be in the weather. A Swedish friend recently said to me, “If you wait for good weather in Sweden, you’ll never get out.” Experiment with challenging your idea of perfect weather by safely going for walks in the falling snow, grab that raincoat and rubber boots to navigate sleet and slush, wear lights on your jacket as you stroll beside your friend on those dark early mornings and evenings visits.
My mind returns to the DBT skill of intentionally creating positive experiences. Pair this with radical acceptance of it is what it is and we might just get through this winter. One way or the other, spring will come. Crocuses and daffodils will emerge as the snow melts.
*The holidays are not always experienced with joy and cheer. For many, it is lonely and difficult. Please reach out if you are in crisis by contacting Here 24/7 or visit your local emergency department.