As people living in Canada, it’s commonplace to talk about the weather. “It’s a cold one out there, eh,” “This weather really gets into your bones,” and “It’s so hot you can fry an egg out there” are to be expected when riding on an elevator or making chit chat while standing in line as you wait to order a coffee. Approaching this winter season, I hear similar comments. What’s different though, is an accompanying sense of dread linked to the restrictions put in place to help slow the spread of COVID-19. Understandably. Here are a few suggestions that might help navigate the next few months.

Give Yourself Some Compassion. Give yourself permission to grieve. In many ways, we have been doing that for the better part of 2020. It has been tough. There is no denying that. It’s okay to be sad and angry. Acknowledge and validate these feelings. Breathe in the pain of this past year and then breathe out loving kindness to those around you.

Expect Things to Be Different This Year. Go into this season knowing it is unlike any other. Try to let go of the expectation that the holidays* and winter months need to look how they’ve always looked. Some experiences will run their normal course and some will not. Be open to new things and don’t worry about it needing to be a complete success.

Practice Hygge. I have a co-worker that is all about Hygge. Come winter, she embraces the Danish lifestyle of coziness and contentment. Think of thick faux-fur lined knee high slipper socks, hot chocolate in a ceramic mug with marshmallows, the crackling of wood burning in a fireplace, a beige knitted blanket, snow landing on the outside window sill, a spiced candle flickering in its holder on the side table next to a favourite book. Perhaps, I just described your nightmare. It’s different for everyone and that is completely okay. Make that bowl of popcorn. Turn off the lights and watch that favourite movie. Bake cookies, bread or cook that nostalgic stew your gramma would make when you were a child. Spend some time in your workshop surrounded by the scent of lumber. Play board games within your household or D&D online with friends. Puzzle while listening to an audiobook. Draw or colour. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to enjoy the simple things in life.

Buy Snowpants. There’s a Scandinavian philosophy that says, “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes.” From what we know in terms of safe socializing, being outside in small numbers is recommended. Put on that toque, buy snow pants, pull on warm winter boots, go to a second hand store to buy a winter jacket, put on layers. We know it’s going to be cold. Snow is expected. Being dressed for the weather will help you be able to be in the weather. A Swedish friend recently said to me, “If you wait for good weather in Sweden, you’ll never get out.” Experiment with challenging your idea of perfect weather by safely going for walks in the falling snow, grab that raincoat and rubber boots to navigate sleet and slush, wear lights on your jacket as you stroll beside your friend on those dark early mornings and evenings visits.

My mind returns to the DBT skill of intentionally creating positive experiences. Pair this with radical acceptance of it is what it is and we might just get through this winter. One way or the other, spring will come. Crocuses and daffodils will emerge as the snow melts.

*The holidays are not always experienced with joy and cheer. For many, it is lonely and difficult. Please reach out if you are in crisis by contacting Here 24/7 or visit your local emergency department.

It’s the weekend. I look outside my window and there aren’t any cars on the street. There should be cars on this street. Lots of them. A lot has happened in the last two weeks that has greatly impacted how we live our lives. From how we shop to if and where we go to work. Then, there’s the mandatory quarantines for travellers and social distancing regulations. There isn’t much else on the news other than information regarding COVID-19. It’s been a lot to digest on all levels. Here are a few reminders to help cope during this time.

#1 Give Space for Emotions

It’s okay to feel what you feel right now. Fear, anger, disappointment, gratitude, sadness, interest, relief, anticipation, sorrow, guilt, happiness - it’s all okay! Remember, we have never been through something like this in our lifetime and with information coming at us as quickly as it has been, it’s hard to keep up. It can feel like a cognitive and emotional roller-coaster. Give space for your emotions. It takes up too much energy not too.

#2 Control What You Can

Remember January’s post on Mine, Your’s and God’s Business? It’s a great time to apply this concept. We only have control over our own actions. We can’t make people wash their hands or obey quarantine rules, nor can we control the fact the virus exists. We can control, however, if and for how long we wash our own hands (20 seconds with soap) and how we practice social distancing. It will drive you bonkers trying to control what other people are or aren’t doing. Focusing on what you can builds a sense of control versus helplessness or hopelessness.

#3 Loving Kindness Meditation

February’s post also comes in handy right now. Take some time throughout each day to stop and say a prayer/meditation on loving kindness for yourself, someone you love, an acquaintance, someone you have conflict with and the population as a whole. I, especially, like this last point as we are truly in this together right now. May we be happy, may we be well.

Doing something kind for someone else can also make one feel good. It’s a great way of turning outward versus focusing on one’s own experiences. Get creative! There are many opportunities (big and small) to pass on kindness.

#4 Basic Needs

Remember your 5 basic needs - physical, social, emotional, spiritual and mental? Whether you’re an essential service worker, working from home or currently unemployed, find ways to get these needs met. It’s critical for maintaining health and wellness in the long run. It might look different from how you would have met them before the pandemic, although you might be surprised by the welcomed change. Create some sort of schedule and routine as it can bring about normalcy and comfort.

#5 Living with Risk and Uncertainty

Living with OCD, I’ve had to learn to accept and tolerate risk and uncertainty in my life. It is an ongoing concept I have to practice. As much as I want concrete answers and timelines right now, I have to tolerate that I might not get them. Life requires me to engage with risk and uncertainty, otherwise there’s a hazard of becoming immobilized and isolated. I can do what I can to follow protocols and procedures that are put in place to reduce risk. After that, the rest is out of my hands. I have to let go. What will happen will happen (there’s our good DBT friend radical acceptance again).

I end with the reminder that nothing lasts forever. Life is constantly changing and evolving. I don’t know what the future holds, however it won’t always look like how it does now. Feel what you feel, control what you can, say a prayer or meditation and meet your needs while you live amongst the risks and uncertainties that today and tomorrow brings. Look for the many positives and moments that make you smile. They still exist, it just might look a little different than what you were used to.

Thinking of you all, keep well.