I’m currently sitting in a café. I’m a few paragraphs in on a piece about the importance of critical thinking and learning to find one’s voice when my thoughts start wandering. If I’m honest, they’ve been wandering for awhile. I notice annoyance emerge as well as anxiety about the possibility that I might not have anything to post by my self-imposed deadline. I welcome any distraction that comes my way - a text, social media, drinking my coffee, people watching, the falling snow, writing on another project. I should be productive during this time. It’s my time to use however I want, and I want to be using it for writing because I know the rest of my week will contain little time for it. I’m tired. Actually, I’m really, really tired. I’m frustrated that my energy doesn’t align with my free time. Yet, this is my reality.
I recall a few skills I could use. From Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, I can apply radical acceptance. After all, it is what it is; I’m tired in my free time because I’m tired in my free time; my thoughts are wandering because my thoughts are wandering. There’s freedom in acceptance. I notice a slight lightening in my body and chest when I lean into acceptance versus trying to fight against it. If I don’t get a post up in time, I don’t get a post up in time.
The next skill I can practice is self-compassion and a little Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I can remind myself that it’s okay that I might miss my deadline even though I don’t want to. I can soothe my anxious thoughts and frustrations with warmhearted words - my worth is defined by much more than meeting deadlines. I could take a few minutes to do a guided loving kindness meditation if I can’t come up these words on my own.
I can also listen to my body and rest. I recently saw a post on social media on nine forms of rest. It confirms what a new mom once said to me, “rest doesn’t always mean sleep”. It can take the form of doing something unproductive or taking a break from responsibility. Sometimes I’m surprised how much my energy levels and clarity improve by simply taking 30 minutes to watch a T.V. show or go for a walk around the block.
Another option is to switch gears and write about something totally different, or come back to this task at another time. It can help to be flexible, a skill I continually need to practice. No one is making me do this, I choose to write because I enjoy it and find it therapeutic. While I think it’s important to foster critical thinking skills, I can come back to that post when the mood, inspiration and energy level return for the themes of that piece. I also give myself permission to not write at all right now if I so choose.
On that note, I’m going to end this post. Before I do, I invite you to practice some radical acceptance, self-compassion, rest and flexibility when energy levels are low, rigidity is high and the inner critic is rearing its head. What do you do in times to manage self-imposed (or other imposed) deadlines and goals that don’t meet up with energy levels or interest? How do you rest?